I have been cleaning up my house and trying to pack away some old stuff. I came across a dairy which I used to write everyday 10 years ago just before I came to Perth.

When I was young, anything small can make me happy. I think in this dairy, the sentense that I used the most is "I am so happy today" I did have some sad moments, but it was easily replaced by the good ones. It also reminded me why I am now here in Perth.. why I chose to leave HK 10 years ago.

As I grow up, I am collecting happy thoughts and moments along the way. I chose to forget any unhappy moments. As I grow older, nothing much can make me feel happy.. and anything small can easily upset me. I like to compare... I like to hang onto old memories... I like to live in the past.

I miss my friends.. those that are not around. I miss my family.... I miss my grandmas.... I always believe that they are watching over me... they know what is best for me and I know they will make sure good things will happen to me.... coz I know.. they love me.

Birthday is approaching but this year I don't feel any excitment at all. It could be becoz I am getting older or it could be becoz..... 

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New bathroom is done, I have spent some money on it but it turns out perfect. I love it a lot.. and once everything is in place, I know for sure that it will look great. I can't wait for everything to be done... I am only half way, still need to clean the carpet.. it's super dirty from the renovation and the storm. As much as I am a messy person, I can't stand dirtiness.

New work has been great, I am slowly learning my job and it has been a bless working in this company. At least I don't feel the stress and it makes a big different.

When I let you go one step further, my eyes overflow with tears
When you walk away one step further, more tears are falling
As you move away to a place where I can’t reach you, even if I reach out my hand
I can’t catch you, I can only cry
What should I do? What should I do? You’re leaving
What should I do? What should I do? You’re leaving me
I love you, I love you, I cry out to you
But you can’t hear me, because I am only shouting in my heart
All day long I try to forget you, but I think of you again
All day long I try to say goodbye, but I think of you
Although you went to a place where I can’t hold you, even if my hand reaches out for you
I can’t find you, I can only cry
What should I do? What should I do? I can only see you
What should I do? What should I do? I love you only
I am sorry, I am sorry, can you hear me?
Please come back to me, if it’s not you, I can’t go on
What should I do? What should I do? I only have you
What should I do? What should I do? You’re leaving
What should I do? What should I do? You’re leaving me alone
I love you, I love you, I cry out to you
But you can’t hear me because I am only shouting in my heart

哭了　才發現自己真的受傷了 (Only when I cried, I realised I was really hurted so bad)

你曾對我說你永遠是我的 (You told me before, you will always be mine)

為了愛情我把自己的幸福都忘了 (Because of Love, I forget all about my own happiness)

你快樂　我就快樂 (As long as you are happy, I am happy)

也許　是我們彼此都太年輕了 (Maybe we are both too young)

總是特別容易沉溺在愛情裡 (That's why we easily fall in love with others)

每當我再次看到身邊美麗的花火 (Each time when I see the beautiful firework again)

你已離開我　我還是想對你說 (You have already left me. I still want to tell you)

Baby I Love you so much

你走了我的心在淌血 (After you left, my heart is bleeding)

Baby you hurt me so bad

想要你回到我的世界 (I want you to be back to my World)

Baby I Love you so much

你給我的諾言已經瓦解 (All the promises you gave me have been broken)

Baby you hurt me so bad

只要我們都愛著　無論多苦都值得
(No matter how hard it is, as long as we are still in love with each other, everything will be ok)

說好的　你怎麼忘記了 (You have said so, why don't you remember now??)

I have tendered my resignation and there is only three weeks to go. I have no job lining up and my future is full of question-mark, but suddenly I feel so relieved. I am worried about my future coz it's so uncertain, however the recent me has been too miserable and I think it is important to regain myself.

I have achieved so much in the past few years and now I am stopping and asking myself what's next? Many people have been telling me that I should find the love of my life to make it completes.... I asked why??

I do not know what is going to happen... I only know the fact is I am still young and I can afford to do this. Let's just do it...

Nine years ago, I told my parents that I want to study overseas, they said YES. With their supports I have overcame many difficulties and  achieved many things. Nine years later, I told them I want to be back, be back at home sitting next to them every night and feel the warmness. They said YES. I am so glad that I have my very supportive parents. They will not ask too many questions, but they can exactly tell when their daughter is being very upset 10 thousands miles away. All they will say to me is YES. There is nothing to lose coz at least I get to spend time with my parents.